Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Root of Bitterness

What is Bitterness?

  • Definition: "adjective" 1 having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet. 2 causing pain or unhappiness. 3 feeling anger, hurt, and resentment. 4 (of a conflict) harsh and acrimonious - which means having ill feelings. 5 (of wind or weather) intensely cold.
  • Bitterness is one of our four tastes, designed to help us guard against ingesting poison, or other toxic substances

(Passover & Bitter Herbs) Exodus 12:6-8 “Take special care of this chosen animal until the evening of the fourteenth day of this first month. Then the whole assembly of the community of Israel must slaughter their lamb or young goat at twilight. They are to take some of the blood and smear it on the sides and top of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the animal. That same night they must roast the meat over a fire and eat it along with bitter salad greens and bread made without yeast." (Bitter herbs -- dandelion, endive, horseradish, etc.)

What causes bitterness?

KEY VERSE -- Hebrews 12:15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Causes:

  1. External hurt / offense - what is done, what is said, what is taken
  2. Failure (of a marriage, a job, etc.)

Holding on to bitterness is sin.

  • James 3:7-16 People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty spring. If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

What are the consequences of bitterness?

“I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and unforgiveness. I like to say it’s like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. And it really is that harmful to us to live this way.“ ~Joyce Meyer

The passage in Hebrews says, "trouble you, corrupting many" - bitterness is an internal cancer, eating you up from the inside, but it also impacts others as it affects how you relate to others.

How to Deal with Bitterness

1) reframe the "failure" and/or loss - see the grace of God at work - God works all things

  • 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10 To keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
  • Romans 8:28 - And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

2) walk in forgiveness

  • (from above article) "In some cases, overcoming bitterness demands more than self-regulation. When bitterness arises from blaming other people, then recovery may involve others. ‘In order to deal with bitter emotions there may need to be something else required to enable a person to overcome the negative emotion - that something is forgiveness,’ says Prof Wrosch."
  • Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

It is not a one-time fix. Garden of our heart -- stony ground, thorns and thistles, weeds, choke the life out of you. Like picking at a scab, licking our wounds, preventing healing.

Tearing up the visible part of the roots is an exercise in futility. Clearing the roots involves digging.

Choose to forgive. Choose to let go. Choose to let God make beauty for ashes. Let His grace be sufficient for you.

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